There is a lot of talk about storage compartments in “The Trouble With Tribbles”. A lot. But for all this talk, and use of storage compartments, Starfleet seems to have had some very serious oversight in the area of these simple containment units. Starfleet’s officers, and even their captains, seem to lack the basic knowledge of how to use a storage compartment. So, I’ve written a short tutorial on how to properly open a Federation issued, space-station storage compartment.
My readers in the twenty-third century, this one’s for you:
Suppose you have a highly perishable, security-sensitive shipment of quadrotriticale grain that you need to store temporarily on a Federation space station. Well, Federation-issue, station-model storage compartments are designed specifically to suit your needs. They come equipped with loading and unloading doors, temperature control features, and an ultra-secure magnetic sealing lock.
To store your cargo in our storage compartments, please follow these simple instructions:
- Check to make sure that the unloading (lower) doors are sealed, and locked. This will ensure that none of your cargo is lost during the loading process.
- Open the loading hatch and insert your cargo. (Disclaimer: Do NOT overfill).
- Close the loading (upper) hatch and seal with the magnetic lock activator.
- Store the magnetic lock activator in a secure location. Do not leave it attached to the hatches.
To unload your cargo, the process is just as simple:
- Unseal the unloading (lower) hatch using the magnetic lock activator.
- Carefully and slowly remove your cargo. (Disclaimer: If the magnetic activator does not work, be patient and reset it. Do NOT use the loading (upper) hatches to unload your cargo. Otherwise, all your cargo, and any pesky tribbles that may have snuck in through the air conditioning vents, will fall out onto your head).